Happy birthday, Gram.

Today would have been my paternal grandmother’s 94^th birthday. She passed July 23, 2005, one month before her 86^th birthday and two weeks after I started on my path towards where I am now.

Some of the things I remember about her were: the smell of her house (years of baking had seeped into the walls to make her house smell sweet and homey), her short stature not really limiting her being in charge (Don’t get Fresh. I can still kick you! She was 5 feet tall when she passed), how much she loved chocolate (and still ate it against doctor’s orders!). And those are just a few.  She was quite the character!

I am suddenly overwhelmed with memories of her and my eyes are brimming with tears. Where’d these come from?!  The grief no longer stings, it’s a dull ache and comes and goes. Mostly I remember her fondly, without tears.

So much of who I am now, I wish she could see on the physical plane. Of course, I know she’s watching with interest and she knows what’s going on. But I wish I could pick up the phone and talk with her about it. Tell her everything I’ve been doing, and Ryan would get to meet her. She was so sharp and funny, I know he would have instantly loved her.

But, ya know, if you spend your life wishing, you miss what’s in front of you. So, I’m gonna stop myself and turn this positive real quick.

I’m grateful for the time I had with her, for the guidance and advice she gave, for the laughs and time she spent with my family while we grew up, for all the memories I have of her in her house. Thinking of her still cracks me up.

Happy Birthday, Gram. I love you very, very much and miss you everyday!